The science of silence in emotional abuse

Admit it. No one in this fallen world escapes from emotional abuse regardless on its category.

Even Jesus constantly gets emotional abuse. In fact, He is the only man in this world who ever lived that get the most extreme emotional abuse beyond our imagination.

Newsflash: Even God himself  suffered from emotional abuse by His fellow children, His own greatest creation, people who He love so much.

So, there is no way human like us escapes from emotional abuse.

Dr. Gregory L. Jantz noted 13 things on the damaging effects of emotional abuse in his book, Healing The Scars Of Emotional Abuse.

1. When you view life as unstable, anxiety, tension and fear result.

2. When you are constantly vigilant to the behaviour of others, hypersensitivity and hostility result.

3. When you learn to second-guess yourself, confusion and feelings of disconnection result.

4. When nothing you do ever seems to be right, insecurity, guilt and shame result.

5. When others tell you that you are always wrong, indecision and inaction result.

6. When you stop having the energy to fight it all, apathy and depression result.

7. When you have finally had it, rage results.

8. When you never seem to receive fairness, justice is all you think about.

9. When you have been hurt by those you love, love is viewed as a risk.

10. When living is painful, addictions are acceptable because they numb the pain.

11. When the mind is a jumble of emotional chaos, the body and its system break down.

12. When your inner emotion turmoil produces outer stress, your current relationships are endangered.

13. When you can’t control your negative emotions, you become the very person you hate.

  Healing The Scars Of Emotional Abuse (revised edition), pg 32.

One thing that I have learned the best is this:

The greatest instrument used by Satan to go against you is not lust, not anger, not jealousy, not sloth, not gluttony, not anxiety, but emotional abuse. Emotional abuse created a monster inside us and that is the greatest instrument used to break our relationship with God. Emotional abuse is the root of all sins, a vicious cycle that kept us in a bondage of condemnation.

So, you wonder why the people that we love or know turn to be an abuser, or became a sarcastic person with a flaming tongue, or take drugs, or run away from home, or became a gay and lesbian, or made a change on their sexual gender, or became a hostile person, or add up 200 pounds of weight, or turn to be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Why children nowadays always screams out ‘I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!’ to their parents?

Think about it. There is only one answer.

Dear God

Now these prayers make me smile.

1. “Dear God,maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.”

2. “Dear God, in Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?”

3. “Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?”

4. “Dear God, I want to be just like my daddy when I grow up but without so much hair all over.”

5. “Dear God, are you actually invisible or is that just a trick?”

6. “Dear God, it must be super hard to love all the people in the world, especially my brother. I don’t know how You do it.”

7. “Dear God, thank You for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy.”

8. “Dear God, I heard the moon was made of cheese. Tonight half of it is missing. Did you get hungry?”

9. “”Dear God, please take care of my daddy, mommy, sister, brother, my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re gonna be in a big mess.”

10. “Dear God, I say your prayer every night, ‘lead us not into temptation and deliver us some e-mail’ but I never get an e-mail from you. Do you have my right address?”

11. “Dear God, when my mom makes leftovers, do I have to pray for the food again?”

12. “Dear God, did the unicorns miss the ark? Too bad the skunks didn’t miss.”

Funny kids prayer at http://www.beliefnet.com

Having a faith like little children is all that God wants us to have. Prayers, then, will be happier and relax.

“Truly I say to you, Unless You turn around and become as young children, you will by no means enter into the kingdom of the heavens.” Matthew 18:3 (NWT)

Three things that I cannot live without

Couple of times people asked me this one big question:

If you were given a chance to choose 3 things in your life and carry it to death, what would it be?

When I was still young and naive, my answers would be:

1. Money

2. Power

3. Fame

Big smile.

As I grow older, I changed the list couple of times.

1. Money

2. Health

3. Happiness

Again,

1. Money

2. Power

3. Happiness

How naive I was.

Bet I am not the only person with those list.

And I noticed 1 thing that never change in the list.

Money.

Money money money must be funny in a rich man’s world.

In this world, without money means zero tolerance of survival.

Materialistic world. Gadgets. Splendid food.

Which eventually leads to….

Desire.Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Jealousy. Revenge. Death.

So many things especially the media continuously feed us with the images of happiness that those rich people can get until we get envy.

It is like the world is feeding them and they are always HUNGRY!

And I worked my *** hard for those things too. I want the world and I want it badly.

Until one day when I realised how I have made a wrong decision.

My journey has opened my eyes that were blinded by all of the wealthy stuff.

My mind set things on the earth. Yet inside, my soul is tormented.

Of course we need money for food, shelter and clothes. Those are the basic living things for a human since the beginning of time in order to live in this cruel world.

But, I came to realised that I do not need money for happiness.

Money, love. Notice at the sharp edges around the money. Gaining love through money has its own price.

At one point, my life went upside down just like anyone else have ever experienced or worst and money did not guarantee to fill the hole of a heartache, emptiness, a weary heart and disgrace.

I then realised what I have been missing for such a long time.

A spiritual love from Our Heavenly Father.

Compare with the money for love, are there any sharp edges in this picture? Love by God?

He is always there but I did not reach out my hands to Him.

He is always there listening to my whining-never-seems-to-satisfy desire.

I am the lost sheep. I desperately need my shepherd.

I realised that I do not want to be Mr. Krabs.

And now, when people asked me the same question, I would smile and proudly tell them:

I want:

1. The Heavenly Father

2. His only begotten Son Jesus Christ, and

3. The Holy Spirit.

I received all of these since The Almighty blew his breath into my soul.

And I want them to be in me for the rest of my life till death and till eternal life.

The best thing is that I can rephrase the question:

If you were given a chance to choose 3 things in your life and carry it to death, what would it be?

It’s not even a choice, I already received the greatest gifts from Our Heavenly Father.

Freely given, freely received.

We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. (Holy Bible, NIV)

No cost, no hidden charges, no string attached.

Free redemption of sins, free forgiveness of sins, always got a room for chances.

Thank you LORD, for reaching my blindness and came to my aid.

Amen.