The science of silence in emotional abuse

Admit it. No one in this fallen world escapes from emotional abuse regardless on its category.

Even Jesus constantly gets emotional abuse. In fact, He is the only man in this world who ever lived that get the most extreme emotional abuse beyond our imagination.

Newsflash: Even God himself  suffered from emotional abuse by His fellow children, His own greatest creation, people who He love so much.

So, there is no way human like us escapes from emotional abuse.

Dr. Gregory L. Jantz noted 13 things on the damaging effects of emotional abuse in his book, Healing The Scars Of Emotional Abuse.

1. When you view life as unstable, anxiety, tension and fear result.

2. When you are constantly vigilant to the behaviour of others, hypersensitivity and hostility result.

3. When you learn to second-guess yourself, confusion and feelings of disconnection result.

4. When nothing you do ever seems to be right, insecurity, guilt and shame result.

5. When others tell you that you are always wrong, indecision and inaction result.

6. When you stop having the energy to fight it all, apathy and depression result.

7. When you have finally had it, rage results.

8. When you never seem to receive fairness, justice is all you think about.

9. When you have been hurt by those you love, love is viewed as a risk.

10. When living is painful, addictions are acceptable because they numb the pain.

11. When the mind is a jumble of emotional chaos, the body and its system break down.

12. When your inner emotion turmoil produces outer stress, your current relationships are endangered.

13. When you can’t control your negative emotions, you become the very person you hate.

  Healing The Scars Of Emotional Abuse (revised edition), pg 32.

One thing that I have learned the best is this:

The greatest instrument used by Satan to go against you is not lust, not anger, not jealousy, not sloth, not gluttony, not anxiety, but emotional abuse. Emotional abuse created a monster inside us and that is the greatest instrument used to break our relationship with God. Emotional abuse is the root of all sins, a vicious cycle that kept us in a bondage of condemnation.

So, you wonder why the people that we love or know turn to be an abuser, or became a sarcastic person with a flaming tongue, or take drugs, or run away from home, or became a gay and lesbian, or made a change on their sexual gender, or became a hostile person, or add up 200 pounds of weight, or turn to be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Why children nowadays always screams out ‘I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!’ to their parents?

Think about it. There is only one answer.

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Three things that I cannot live without

Couple of times people asked me this one big question:

If you were given a chance to choose 3 things in your life and carry it to death, what would it be?

When I was still young and naive, my answers would be:

1. Money

2. Power

3. Fame

Big smile.

As I grow older, I changed the list couple of times.

1. Money

2. Health

3. Happiness

Again,

1. Money

2. Power

3. Happiness

How naive I was.

Bet I am not the only person with those list.

And I noticed 1 thing that never change in the list.

Money.

Money money money must be funny in a rich man’s world.

In this world, without money means zero tolerance of survival.

Materialistic world. Gadgets. Splendid food.

Which eventually leads to….

Desire.Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Jealousy. Revenge. Death.

So many things especially the media continuously feed us with the images of happiness that those rich people can get until we get envy.

It is like the world is feeding them and they are always HUNGRY!

And I worked my *** hard for those things too. I want the world and I want it badly.

Until one day when I realised how I have made a wrong decision.

My journey has opened my eyes that were blinded by all of the wealthy stuff.

My mind set things on the earth. Yet inside, my soul is tormented.

Of course we need money for food, shelter and clothes. Those are the basic living things for a human since the beginning of time in order to live in this cruel world.

But, I came to realised that I do not need money for happiness.

Money, love. Notice at the sharp edges around the money. Gaining love through money has its own price.

At one point, my life went upside down just like anyone else have ever experienced or worst and money did not guarantee to fill the hole of a heartache, emptiness, a weary heart and disgrace.

I then realised what I have been missing for such a long time.

A spiritual love from Our Heavenly Father.

Compare with the money for love, are there any sharp edges in this picture? Love by God?

He is always there but I did not reach out my hands to Him.

He is always there listening to my whining-never-seems-to-satisfy desire.

I am the lost sheep. I desperately need my shepherd.

I realised that I do not want to be Mr. Krabs.

And now, when people asked me the same question, I would smile and proudly tell them:

I want:

1. The Heavenly Father

2. His only begotten Son Jesus Christ, and

3. The Holy Spirit.

I received all of these since The Almighty blew his breath into my soul.

And I want them to be in me for the rest of my life till death and till eternal life.

The best thing is that I can rephrase the question:

If you were given a chance to choose 3 things in your life and carry it to death, what would it be?

It’s not even a choice, I already received the greatest gifts from Our Heavenly Father.

Freely given, freely received.

We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. (Holy Bible, NIV)

No cost, no hidden charges, no string attached.

Free redemption of sins, free forgiveness of sins, always got a room for chances.

Thank you LORD, for reaching my blindness and came to my aid.

Amen.

Just being a good friend

Text messages from my friend.

Him: I’m thinking of getting a tattoo

Me: Ok, good 4 u

Him: Any suggestion?

Me: Wud about ‘I hate tatoo artist’ design?

Him: Thank u!

Me: Your welcome

Him: I want something red symbolize passion

Me: Chili?

Him: I want to put it in my butt

Me: U want 2 put a chili in ur butt????

Him: No thanks I’ll pass. Correction. I want a red tattoo at my butt

Me: I don’t want to ask why

Because at that time this appears in my head:

Me: U want to tattoo a Japanese flag at ur butt? U will be sued.

Him: LOL! No! I respect Japan! Give me an idea! An iconic red thinggy

Me: Chili?

Him: Wud about an Elmo tattoo at my butt?

Me: Why on earth would an old grown up man want to put Elmo at his ASS?

Him: C’mon! Elmo is a sexy red figure. Women would love it whenever I pull my pants down in front of them!

Me imagination:

Lil Elmo: “Hiya gurl! U will enjoy looking at his butt better than his front part! I’ll save ur day!”

Me: Get an Elmo tattoo

Him: Sure do! Ur a gud friend!

Disclaimer: I don’t know how his front part look like and I do not want to know. But I guess Elmo is cuter and can save his day.

Gluttony eh

This is how I look like while I was trying to save my fried chicken from my friend(guardian Angel):

I figured out that I should eat while run in order to save muh chicken.

And this is the face of me as the winner

90 seconds later, I realised that I have just destroyed my diet and the day is Friday!

Muh regret and feeling like an asshole face:

An Angel patted my head.

Darn Gluttony!